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SAD because of a cheat :(

I'm really sad because I discovered that one of my friends on here is a cheat. My instinct was that the mods must have made a mistake, but then he admitted it to me as I was about to write a message to Thibault asking him to re-examine the case.

Whilst trying to keep an English stiff upper lip, I feel betrayed and hurt.

What a let-down :(
To NoTimewasters and Admins, as my profile says I use chess engine to play but it's partially true. Yes being curious about how cheaters detected I had used it while i'm playing during my last 3-4 matches on the other hand I played 2600+ matches without using any cheat and seriously I never bother about my losing because I came here to learn chess not to cheat..
Anyways let me clear you all that my current improvement is a result of my enormous playing chess at here and day & night immense research about it not for any kind of cheating!
Therefore, I beg your pardon for polluting the spirit of Chess and I promise you I would not repeat this huge mistake again.
So, please reconsider and give me a second chance!!
Can the mods enlighten us about when they believe this particular cheating began? Niloy99 claims it was in the last 3 or 4 games. Is this true?
Yea, that's roughly the case. No, we don't undo marks because you feel bad about getting caught - kinda defeats the point.
I think it is not true he cheated in his last 3 or 4 games, it was earlier.
I was suspicious about some games against very much higher ranked opponents.

For example:

http://en.lichess.org/UJbmrqyS/black
He plays differently to how I'm used, also only a single inaccuracy against a much better opponent.

It is important to me to know when it began; as a person, if he says "I did this 3 or 4 times, I'm sorry", then I can forgive my friend. If he says that but it is another lie, then I cannot.

If you see what I mean.
So, you can't forgive because of the fact of cheating, or because of the fact of lying?
I can forgive someone for making a mistake and doing something bad... but if they say to me, "I did it 3 or 4 times" but it turns out they did it MANY times, I cannot forgive.

Someone can let me down once, but then if they lie again, I can't be friends with them. So, in answer to your question, it would be the lying AFTER cheating that I couldn't forgive.

:(
You apologized to the victims of the games?
Niloy, although your apology and request for forgiveness is appreciated, you've admitted you cheated. You're free to make a new account, but your current one will always be marked as an engine.

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